Where it all started

My first encounter with God was very revolutionary for me. I was in my home. My mom had a group of ladies coming into our home every Friday to give us Bible study lessons. Those Fridays used to be my days off, and I would find myself waking up to my mom asking me to join them. I didn't want to, but there I was. I greeded them and listened. I didn't care much for what they had to say at that time, but every time I listened, everything around me felt different. I felt like we were in another world. I remember being really sad inside, and noticing how happy and confident these women looked. However, this didn't make me want to run to become a Christian. I wanted to know for a fact that God existed. I didn't want to get involved in religious things if I didn't have proof of God's existance. So, one day, as I was walking home from work, and after many days of contemplating on the words that were spoken to me about God, I asked God to prove to me that He was real . I wanted to see him.

As time passed by, a Friday came that became a huge turning point in my life. It changed my life forever. I was sleeping and like usual, my mom woke me up for the Bible study. I didn't want to go, but I reluctantly walked out of my bed and into the living room where the woman was waiting. This woman was known for her incredible relationship with God. I had heard that she had so much annoiting form the lord, that people fainted from the intensity of the Lord's power flowing throught her. I was curious about it, but I didn't really belive it or understod it. So, we started. We did the opening prayer, we read the word of God, and then went into a deeper prayer to end the study. I didn't know what I was doing, I wasn't the prayer type, but there I was, on my knees, trying to think of what to pray, but all that kept coming to my mind was school,work, my boyfriend at the time, and other things that had nothing to do with speaking to God.

I couldn't concentrate, but then, the woman touched my shoulder. In less than a mini-second, I saw tears flowing out infront of me, hitting the couch. I felt like something hit me and eveything stopped. I could hear myself speaking, but I didn't understand it. When I finally understood what kept mumbling out of my mouth, I heard myself sobbing, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...", over and over again. When I heard this, that's when I gave in completelly to God's presence. I broke down. I felt this immense love surrounding me, taking over all of me. It covered me from head to toe and even outside of me. It felt so overwhelming, that is hard to describe how good it feels. All through this, I just kept saying, "I'm sorry". I was saying this because I had never belived in him, until that momment, because I had to feel him for me to belive, when inside me, I knew all along that he existed, that he was real. As I broke down in his presence, he let me feel the most intense love I ever felt. My heart felt as if he was squeezing it softly, with his loving hands. It felt so good, and strong, that I don't know how I was able to handle the intensity of the love he was giving me. He made me understand that that intense love, was how intensivelly he feels for everyone here on Earth. It revolusionazed my mind. My experience didn't end there. I didn't want his love to go away, but the service ended, and I decided to be by myself.

Once alone with him, that's when God's spirit revealed the impurity of my life, in other words,he let me feel my sins. I started to feel as if I had cakes of wet and dry mud, filth all over me. It felt so discusting and suffocating, that I wanted to get out of my own skin. It was a feeling I've never felt before, a feeling that went beyond my skin. I kept rubbing my arms trying to make that disgusting feeling go away, but all I felt was sadness and deseperation. I felt his presence. He somehow helped me understand and explained what I was feeling at that momment, how I managed to carry, and attach that filt to me. My life ended and started at that very moment. I had just found God, a supernatural being, a God that was willing to recieve me, even in my filthy spiritual condition. I felt found and loved.

I wanted to share this experience with the whole world, letting everyone know of His love. The knowledge, that others like me before that very momment, had not had that life changing experience with the Lord, worried me. If I just felt the Lord, and felt my sins, then there's a lot more to God than what people think. That's when I realized that there's a lot of people that need to be saved. That the gospel must be spread.